Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
