jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
