he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
