The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
