I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
