Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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