I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
