bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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