After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
