yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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