It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
