the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
