i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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