just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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