Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
