how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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