have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
