He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
