I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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