Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize