weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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