yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
