So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
