I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
