Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
