I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
