No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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