First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
