i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
did i walk over a car last night?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
