I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
