this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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