508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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