But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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