We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My penis needs a shock collar
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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