I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize