true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
NoShamevember. You game?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
