You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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