if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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