i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize