there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He passed out mid-signature
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
