First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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