Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
