i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
