Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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