dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
