Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
