Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do herpes really smell.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
