This is not my ceiling
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
