Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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