this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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