I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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