Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
