Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
