and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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