We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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