umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
