Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
