oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
