i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
