Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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