I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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