i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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