i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
